A few months back, while I was on lunch duty, one of my students from last year stopped me and said "Miss, I've been meaning to ask you: what are your thoughts on the afterlife?" Of course I was caught a bit off guard, but my response was honest: that I wasn't quite sure where I stood on the idea yet, I was still trying to figure it out for myself. He asked how anyone could possibly think that there is anything more than to just being dead and then ensued a bit of a debate in Spanish with some of his friends. I shared my thoughts, saying that I believe a large part of it is that those left behind after someone dies don't want to think that their loved one is simple gone; they want to believe that they are still with them in some way. The conversation went on and we had a small circle and students asked about my beliefs on other things like the beginning of life or the universe: they were curious if I believed in the story God created everything or I had a scientific point of view. I gave them the answer I always give: both. As a person who has a strong foundation in science I cannot help but believe that evolution has occurred and that the universe began with the perfect alignment of particles and that after millions and millions of years it allowed life to eventually form (forgive me for simplifying it, they are only 13). I explained that while these theories tell me how these things happen scientifically, my faith has always played a part as well and that I do not believe that these perfect conditions happened by chance, that I believe there is a greater being at work that allowed for all of this to be set in motion. I explained that I know that others on either side of the spectrum may disagree with me, but that this is the balance that I have found. I could see the wheels turning, as they processed what I shared and considered their own thoughts as well as those of their peers. We all agreed that this, like many things, was something that each of them would decide their stance on in their own in time, and that there was no rush to do so.
I share this story because I remembered it myself last night as I was finishing a book, Looking for Alaska. I will try not to give away too much of the story because I hope you all take the time to read it, but be warned, there may be a few inadvertent spoilers (even if there are, you should still read it). In the last pages, one of the main characters is also reflecting on the afterlife and at first shares the thoughts of my student, that we simple are gone and eventually become part of the earth again and that's all there is too it. Done. They also agreed that perhaps "the afterlife is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss", as I once shared with my curious 8th graders. But then they say something spectacular* (well I suppose the author John Green does):
"I believe now that we are greater than the sum of our parts. If you take [a person's] genetic code and you add [their] life experiences and the relationships [they] had with people, and then you take the size and shape of [their] body, you do not get [them]. There is something else entirely. There is a part greater than the sum of [their] parts. And that part has to go somewhere, because it cannot be destroyed.
Although no one will ever accuse me of being much of a science student, one thing I learned from science classes is that energy is never created or destroyed...We are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be...We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations...But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail."*As much as I wanted to include the entire last two pages of the book I didn't for the sake of not giving too much away, but trust me when I say, it is even better than it is here. You will have to get the book and read it all for yourself, and no John Green does not pay me.
I generally get emotionally invested in the books I read, but this truly hit home and hit hard. Since losing David I have thought a lot about a lot of things. One thing I soon realized is where I stand on the idea of the afterlife: it exists. It has to exist. And not just because it makes me feel better, but because I feel it, I know it. I realize my Catholic faith told me this many many years ago and reiterated the point for 12 years of schooling, but no one would ever accuse me of being very religious and there just wasn't enough for me to say steadfastly that yes it does exist. Maybe the science behind it doesn't fit as perfectly as the quote from the book might make it sound, but regardless, I have found my balance, my explanation. David had so much energy when he was alive and so much life to yet live, that all of that couldn't have just disappeared or been destroyed. I know it wasn't. The energy that is David simply has changed shape or size or manifestation and I think (and hope) that anyone who knew him would agree. I hope that others too see that energy in a beautiful mountain view, feel it in an early morning run and hear it in every sound of laughter. Because that's where that energy is now, and trust me when I say there is plenty of it to last all of our lifetimes.
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| Always dancin' |
